This illustration is inspired, and it
quotes the awesome book “Come As
You Are” by Emily Nagoski @enagoski
So many women are ashamed of their genitals. What
did our genitals do to deserve such disrespectful behavior from us, their
owners?
Unless you’re one of the rare women who had the
great luck to grow in a sex positive society, quite likely you ended up having
from a vague to strong sentiment of
shame towards your own genitals. How is that? Are genitals so wrong that
we, by nature, grew hostile to them (spoiler alert, answer in: for God sake
NO!), or is it maybe we have been bombed from messages that told us to be
ashamed of what we are? Here we go. Many religions, although very different
from each other, agree on the indisputable point that women with their bodies
are the “sinners” that put man into temptation (which men in return are described as creatures without
the capability of making conscious decisions over their body desires… and this
they are taught. Two birds with one stone here, well done…). If you were lucky
enough to be shame-proof to this, quite likely you didn’t go unharmed through
the slut shaming that hits all women who are using and enjoying their genitals
as they wish. And last but not least, almost all women genitals represented in
the media comply with the
“unachievable-perfect shape-no hair-uniform color” standard which does not
exist without photo editing (Uops). So most likely you ended up feeling
disappointed (if not disgusted) from your own very real and not retouched
genitals.
So, if you
ended up feeling ashamed of your own genitals: first of all I’m really sorry
that you have been pushed to feel this. Second, the good news: as we learn
shame, we can unlearn it too!
Online there are plenty of resources and amazing
channels and projects that work to actively change this.
Here few valuable resources: the sex positive youtube channel #sexplanation from @LindseyDoe, the project #100vaginas #womanhood the @BareReality from @LauraDodsworth and her great #TedTalks “Busting taboos –One body part at a time”. Another brilliant tool is the comic masterpiece “Sex Story” from @PhilippeBrenot and @LetitiaCoryn which give a great overview on #TheStoryOfSex and how differently sex was seen and perceived throughout the centuries from various cultures. Talking of comics, you don’t want to miss out the brilliant #FruitOfKnowledge from @LeifStromquist on the very troubled relationship between #Vulvas and the #Patriarchy. And do not forget the IG Channel @YouSeeLogic with her great #SexEd Platform and #SwaggerTips.
“When you were born, you were deeply, gloriously satisfied with each and every part of your body. But decades of sex-negative culture have let in weeds of dissatisfaction.”
From the awesome book “Come As You Are” from Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. (2015): pg.40.
And again:
“Medieval anatomists called women’s external genitals the “pudendum,” a word derived from the Latin pudere, meaning “to make ashamed.” […] The reasoning went like this: Women’s genitals are tucked away between their legs, as if they wanted to be hidden, whereas male genitals face forward, for all to see. And why would men’s and women’s genitals be different in this way? If you’re a medieval anatomist, steeped in a sexual ethic of purity, it is because: shame. […] Culture adopts a random act of biology and tries to make it Meaningful, with a capital “Mmmh.” ”
From the awesome book “Come As You Are” from Emily Nagoski, Ph. D. (2015): pg.16-17 .
